My 'graduation' acknowledgement

Everyone that completes the proton treatment is offered the opportunity to say how the treatment was for them for the benefit of those starting the process. I think that 6 other guys completed their procedures today. This is what I said:


If God isn’t in this place, he has to be pretty darn close. With the care and attitude of everyone here; the techs, the office staff, and basically everyone, they’re the best. They made a difficult situation very doable and they were always very professional. Thank you.

Isn’t Psalms the book of thanksgiving? Don’t worry what I have to say it’s only slightly longer! Not really.

If I seem a little giddy it’s because it’s my very last day. Since this is my last day, yes, you can imagine….my sphincter muscle is doing flip-flops it‘s so excited..

Before I started this journey I didn’t even know I had a prostate.

But, now that I think about it, I know just the day the biology instructor was talking about it. It was the day that he pulled a cadaver out of a drawer and said something like, “Today we’re going to learn internal body parts by taking them out and replacing them from Max here, our resident cadaver.” I remember raising my hand and saying “Excuse me, but I’m feeling a little queasy, I don’t want to end up prostrate on the floor, I think I need to go weigh myself.”

I distinctly remember the scale didn’t work very well, and I didn’t come back until the next day. Yes, I’m sure that was the day he said something about where a prostate is at.

After the doctor was done with my prostate biopsy and I was walking out bow-legged after the procedure, I was sure I would never forget where my prostate was located. I, like you, probably looked like a drunken cowboy who had just got off his horse when I walked out of his office.

A “digital exam” doesn’t quite tell the entire story. You can bet, when the doctor says “pucker up” you ain’t gonna get a kiss.

Call me a pansy, but I really think that they should put you out for things like this, since they do it for a colonoscopy.

Or, at least offer you the option of laughing gas, because it sure isn’t a laughing matter to begin with, and you should at least be able to end up that way.

By the way, I’m getting a great tan. Unfortunately it’s only about the size of my prostate and it’s only on each hip.

In closing, the only thing lacking here is a T-shirt to remember the experience. Something like, “The end is always near with proton therapy.” I’m sure the techs could come up with a million great sayings. Thank you.