In a time before time (meaning when I was much younger), I didn’t go to Sunday School but Sabbath School. It was basically the same message but had a Saturday (Sabbath) spin on it, and not a Sunday spin on it. Evidently in the Bible the fourth commandment that Moses brought down from Mount Sinai on the stone tablets that God inscribed with….????….????....that God inscribed, says that a person should keep the 7th day holy, as in reserved for God and God-like activities. My calendar had Saturday as the 7th day of the week, so it was pretty hard to argue, even for a know-it-all 10 year old.
I remember sitting there and listening to the teacher say something about “Don’t fall in with the wrong crowd, they’ll surely get you into trouble.” Even then I thought that was a great message until I realized that the teacher was talking about me to the rest of the kids there.
I was looking around the room and seeing who I thought were the bad-ass boys. Herm, Robert, and Bill were the first ones to come to mind as they were the ones that were consistently not listening to anything the teacher had to say. Meanwhile, myself, I hung on every word as I didn’t want to be forever damned to damnation. I wasn’t sure exactly what it was, as the teacher was somewhat vague about exactly where it was, but I did pick up on the fact that it was really really hot and it lasted for a really really long time. Even then as a youth I thought it may not bode well for me as I had trouble concentrating on anything for a really long time.
Considering the fact that these guys seemed to always having a lot of fun, maybe I was one of the bad-crowd and God was bestowing his blessings on these guys. After all, whenever I tried to get away with something that was remotely questionable such as taking an extra scoop of ice cream at the Saturday Night Movie Nights I was busted immediately. Meanwhile these guys would almost founder themselves on cartons of ice cream and not even be noticed. That is when I started to question the justice system and made me think, maybe I should have born one of the ‘bad crowd’ instead of just someone who had a hard time concentrating on anything for a really really long time. Most of what they did led to fun and frivolity. Most of what I did led to embarrassment, catastrophe, and shame. I had to admit whatever they were doing looked like a lot more fun than what I was doing.
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Sounds like you were in hell already, agonizing over your guilt-ridden situation. I tell you: we have many ways of creating hell right here on Earth, and "guilt" is method number 1. Why bother inventing a Hell-down--below when they're so good a creating one inside each of us. Meanwhile, Robert and Bill were living like 10-year old Gods because ???...???...???...they had done the exact opposite and created Heaven inside themselves. If we have the power to make ourselves feel like we're in Hell (on Earth) why not turn the tables and use our ability to feel guilt into feeling bliss and, thus, Heaven on Earth? Not the 'true' Heaven, you say? I defy anyone to provide a more Heavenly situation on Earth than the one Robert and Bill created for their 10-year old selves.
ReplyDeleteOh, by the way, nice post.