Wed., Feb. 24

My walk today

Since I made a resolve to myself to write a journal of my daily routines, albeit as boring as they are, I sat down this morning to record them for the day…..thinking….still thinking……nothing coming……still thinking. Then, when I’d almost forgot what I was thinking about. I remembered! I had done nothing so far, and thus had nothing to write about.

Writing about what I’m reading or the Senate inquiry panel grilling the President of Toyota gets lost in the translation and is actually even more boring reading about it than listening to it. It’s kind of like a staff meeting when they’re talking about stuff you have no idea what they’re talking about and the best you can do is grunt in affirmation at the proper time, or reach for another piece of candy instead of raising your hand to vote on God knows what.

Here in the LA basin area (I think I’m still in the LA basin area) they have these crosswalks on every corner. In fact, there’s one right outside my door. Considering how many people and cars are down here it’s probably a pretty good idea. Anyway, there are these push buttons on the posts and if you need to cross safely you can push these and wait for the signal on the other side to display a picture of a white figure walking across the crosswalk. Oh, you’ve seen them too?

To go along with that, theoretically, if you get pressed out on in the street by a car while you’re in the crosswalk and the walking figure is white you can sue the city or someone for zillions of dollars, and if you‘re lucky live like a rich vegetable in a really nice wheelchair for as long as it takes you to convince someone to buy you a gun so you don’t have to live like a rich vegetable. I don’t really know if that’s true, and I’m not willing to test my theory.

Anyway, while going on my walk today I used the crosswalk. Of course I did, I always use the crosswalk and the push button on the post. I pushed the button and waited patiently for the figure on the other side to change from a red hand to a white figure. I always wonder when I push the button on these things if they really work, or they’re broken, especially after about 10 minutes of watching cross traffic from both directions proceed multiple times. I think that these buttons that the pedestrian pushes is just a 'dummy spring' and it has not bearing on anything nor is it really connected to anything. It is just there so the pedestrian has something to do while waiting there. Or worse yet a city worker with a remote in his hands just laughing his ass off at what he can make people do while trying to cross. Just about the time I think, ‘To hell with it, I’m going for it!’ there will be a police car sneaking up behind me just waiting for me to jay-walk or something. Come to think of it, is jay-walking ‘jay-walking’ when you’re in the crosswalk? What is it then when a person crosses in the crosswalk against a red walking figure?

Anyway, I pushed the button and waited and waited…and waited. I was thinking that here I was trying to be a law-abiding citizen and trying to cross legally at the crosswalks and I’m stuck at a broken crosswalk. Just when I was ready to take my chances and dart across I looked one last time and the figure changed from a blinking red to a constant white. I couldn’t believe it. It did work! Looking both directions before stepping off I stepped off the curb and onto the crosswalk, or rather started to step off. That was my mistake. I wasn’t quick enough. The lighted figure started flashing red. I think the white signal must have lasted at least 0.0000127 of a second.

I waited another 10 minutes for the light to change back to white again and finally it did. This time I was ready. I stepped off the curb without looking both ways and started to hurry across the street. I almost had my left heel off the curb when the light started flashing red. Damn, back to the sidewalk.

Next time I was really ready. I got down into the sprinter’s crouch position and instead of waiting for the starting gun I waited for the light to turn from red to white again. You know the position, fingers lightly touching the ground with your butt high in the air and your head up watching for the signal. I even shuffled my feet pretending I was pushing off from starting blocks. Some of the people waiting there probably didn’t know why I was doing this and I didn’t bother to take the time to explain it to them.

Mind you, this had been 15 minutes so far just to cross the street. At this rate it would take me about 26 hours to complete my proposed walk 4 mile walk. Anyway, I waited for the light to change and finally after about another 5 minutes the light turned white and I bolted like an Olympic sprinter off the curb.

Before my back foot landed on the street the light turned red again. I said to "hell with it" and walked back into the house.